Y.E.R.G.

I am the grey…
I am the human canister in which the opposites unite, deep within my vacuum core words have lost their meanings, and definitions are yet to be defined.

Life is a statistical peak in chaos, and death is the norm, good and bad are relative to the receiver, while right and wrong are relative to the one who gives, love and hate are one, black and white are none, night is the only time when you can see the unlight, and darkness is the only state in which you see beyond the illusion of the eyes.

I exist, even if you can’t see me now, just close your eyes and jump beyond the space, beyond the sane edge of the mortals, hold your breath and dive deep into me, down into the void of all colour, the silence of all light, down, into a darker shade of grey…

 

… and the grey is I

 

H.Q.
13:45
12th Jan. 2010

Life in an Alternate Life

Tears fall as hail from a pregnant cloud, washing down the blinding dust off your soul… You’ve seen it there, a rising sun on a different horizon, the same grey tone on an alternate sky… It’s never been there, it’s never been yours…

You choke on your tears, on your own smile, the sterile streams racing down your cheeks are the only thing real, everything else fades within the grey feelings of your other self, it blends into the grey mask facing the world you’ve never known, as if it was drawn into a dream that’s not yours…

You miss the days when you once cared; for life was lost the moment you stepped up to the sky… your soul is still waiting there; waiting on a deserted runway, waiting for the return of the Hawk…

But the Hawk’s wings were broken since the elusion of the Black Raven…

Hey, You, Black bird…

Bring me back my Sun… Bring me back my shade…
Broken, Blind and Lost…
Too soft, too ugly, too useless… the least deserving, the ultimate fool of fools…

Nothing has changed… You’re only tired of breathing…

Come back Black bird…

H.Q.
18:17
30th Sep. 2009

In a Dream…

It is a strange world that grows in the night… inside our heads… Inside our dreams…
You wake up with a smile that’s not yours…
Was it stolen? Red lips of a broken angel?… Was it someone you met? A virtual hug from a virtual stranger?

No one knows…
No one cares…
They just can’t wait to open their eyes, to enter the light, to kill the dream, to slay those who can never sin… But I…

I just can’t wait for the night to reign… Enter the shade… Shut my eyes, shut my brain and shut my senses, lock me up in this magical work of mind, see me searching, seeking, falling, failing… See me fly, see me play this heavenly music… See me wait for my angel to descend…

And then I wait…

And then I wait…

But dead angels don’t fly… Even if it’s your own fucking dream…

H.Q.

22/02/2008, 00:02

Once He Was… Once Was Not…

Once, God was here… he looked around, took a long breath, and left for no return…

Where are you my black Raven… This colourless, lifeless, shadeless Hawk with a dead wing is standing here, in this merciless desert… waiting………
Is he but a parasite; depleting what’s left of a thin cloud of hot polluted air around his head, inhaling the lost souls hovering their way to nothingness…

Don’t you think it’s time you come back and finish what you started? Wasn’t it clear enough that this hawk has no wings but yours? Either come back to him, and give him back his wings; your wings, so he could fly again… Or come back to him, and take back his heart; your heart, the one you forgot not to give, while you knew you were not allowed to…

Once, God was here… he looked around, recognised my face… and then he laughed… he knew I was stupid enough to believe him… but he was kind enough to leave… and he left for no return…

Now you see me… Now you don’t… Just take them eyes and leave…

H.Q.
18:56
June 24th, 2009

Where are you my beloved crow? Why Have you flown away from me?…

And Then It Passes…

verses born in my head are vaporised on the spot… the poem is dead before it sees the light, while the poet himself is put to sleep, crystallized for later use…

February 25th 2008

verses are no longer born in this infertile mind, the poem is long since dead, and the light itself has faded since the loss of its source… guardians of the sleeping poet are gone for good, for now he’s forever doomed to sleep, forever doomed to freeze in this lifeless desert… until a new ray of a new day of a new Sun breaks through the glass of the stasis cell, and brings the light back to the eyes of The Blind…

4 years and 13 more days to sleep… Wake me up when it’s over…

15:38
Thursday, February 12th, 2009

… and Another Angel Falls

It’s quite shocking how simply and easily we lose the ones we love… In a moment they’re there… the second, they’re gone for no return…

When you feel you’re happy, and you have every one around you, don’t save your words for another day… as for some, this day will never be…

and you thought it could never happen to you… well, we only learn from our mistakes… but we’re never given the chance to make a use of what we’ve learnt…

R.I.P.
To All Once Loved…

Comfortably Numb, Dubai 2009

January the 8th, 2009… the time is 22:42… we’re having a nice glass of wine in a pretty cold night at the Churchill’s Bar, Dubai … the English (or Aussie) couple ** I’ll get their names later :p ** playing some good ol’ Rock & Blues…

And then, here it comes… Pink Floyd, Comfortably Numb…

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mm5qcjYWrD8]

I Loved it… been some time since I last heard a tune from the Floyd…

H.Q.

Dreams on a Tues’ Day…

It’s quite strange how 10-second-dreams can leave such an effect on us, such an instant, deep impact, much more than that of what “real life” events leave on us, no matter how long, exciting or action-packed they seem to be…
It is this seconds-long flash, that goes through your mind in a daydream, that brings back memories, and gives you the chance to re-live moments you thought are long forgotten; it recreates whole scenes, and brings in all those, whom are missed, then gives you the sign to enjoy this short lived reality you were dying for…

Ten seconds… I would give my whole life to live them again…

“Some things were never there to begin with
objectivity is truth denied

Apply layers to reality
things only you can see
add a beat to normality
to tap the core of insanity…

post-Tues-day-dream
11:30
21 Oct. 2008

15 Sep. 2008

I wish I had nine lives, I would’ve given you eight, and kept one for me…
But all I have is this sorrowful one… Would you take this one and set me free…

3 years 2 months and 13 days…

Colours have died and sight is withering since the parting of light; colourblind I wander through the grey, stuck between them two worlds, the white of joy, and the black of eternal rest… Only you can save what’s left of me, just choose your colour, and give in a proof… a proof of life… or a proof of death… and don’t you worry, as it would barely make a difference anyway… as all I need is a one-word answer…

Eraziness…

Dragonwhales are dizzy… Fire flies where no one have ate before… Oh Holy Svveetness…

As Earl Grey leaves leave their lovely distinct footprint in your Cortex, you try to fight the headache; mercilessly attacking your frontal lobe. Tea is getting colder, and so is your blood, your headache is still the same, only now you can see with a bit less blurriness, you finish this sentence, then add a period.

And now you go one line down, comma, another comma, and yet another comma. and a full stop.

You only miss the days when your brain used to function, something is different now, your language is still “degrading” in the matter of vocabulary and the quality of your composition, a thing that you must’ve noticed clearly in this very post.

but then, you still have no other choice… maybe this is the only way you force your brain to forget… the only way to kill that 24 years old headache, or at least prevent it from getting stronger…

But then again, you still have no idea… you’ll never do… as long as I keep on erasing the lines…

erased…

re-erased…

Added….

Then erased…

H.Q.
12:58
Monday, 30 June 2008

Year of the Headless Turkey…

If you think that “Ignorance is bless”, then please drop by for a visit at my workplace! It is NOT easy to be one of the very few “literates” in your field, whatever that is, to be one of the few who have more than a spinal cord and a cerebellum, one of the few who actually know the meaning of the words they type… if typed correctly!!

so now, after googling “Cerebellum”, please, go read something… I’m really tired of repeating my question for a billion times in 7623487 different ways, only to get an answer, with more words and less meaning than what came before…

Please, once you find out what you want, try to give some meaning to your words… maybe then, you’ll learn how to save the 8 days gone wasted ONLY because you don’t really know Where you belong or what is your REAL job!

Enough said, back to work…

H.Q.

A Visa to Oman…

Oh well..

The News:

1st of all, I arrived to Oman (Al Buraimi) on Friday 23rd for my Visa exchange, i was supposed to be out by Sunday, that’s why i could handle the stinky hotel (Hotel?!) and the hollow days… but well… nothing goes according to plan… or does it?!

Well, in brief, the Visa isn’t issued yet, i don’t know what’s the delay for… It’s supposed to be out today -even yesterday, but let’s ignore that for once- but, it’s 7:15 now so, even if i get it anytime today, I still can’t checkout cause it’s already too late, the last time allowed for a checkout is 7:00 pm,

It seems that i have to wait till tomorrow, the times for checkout are between 3:00 – 7:00 pm.. so well… it’s just another day gone down the drain… let’s wait and see how this story is supposed to end…

Oh well.. in a quick look around me though… i think i should be a little optimistic… we have this lady here who’s been waiting for 15 days… another guy with us in the room is in his 24th day… and we have this 95 years old guy who’s celebrating his 9th Anniversary!!! nobody has been here for less than a week!!! and the tea is good… Oh lucky me!!!!

Everything is really crazy around me… everyone is shouting… everyone is so frustrated… Oh… and the Internet Cafe… it SUCKS!!!…

I’m trying not think of anything cause it’s only gonna cause headaches for everyone… so… I’ll keep you all updated…

Hint: If you are really considering an Exchange VIsa someday… get yourself a few Novels, an mp3 player with at least 4GB of memory, and you might consider buying a Gameboy for the ugly times…

Oh… and

Welcome to Oman!!!

Buraimi, Buraymi, exchange, Oman, Visa

…Updates x Downdates…

You’re scared… YOU ARE scared… disgusted… worried? Maybe not…

Dreams are flattened, hopes? Delayed… you’re not sad, neither do you seem to care, not even care… to continue thinking about how you’re going to finish this sentence…

Too many things that you regret, you can’t stop thinking, as if thinking is going to change anything…
Do they even care to remember?

Chaotic, as usual, but with uselessness… chaos has never prevented you from being well-organized, in a chaotic way, maybe, but still organized… there was a time when you could take full advantage of each single second you spend… but now… you’re even failing at enjoying the waste of the days…

Erasing…

Sealed, for a later use… hopefully…

H.Q.
13:24
Tuesday May 6, 2008

And Still I Blog…

Stalactite, stalagmite
A Thousand cars I see tonight
I wish I may, I wish I June
Get some sleep this afternoon

I have some coke, which now I drink
I sit alone, I write and think
that this laptop is a bit too hot
so what’d you say? Shut down or not?

If I shut down, then wait I must
Too much old work must I adjust
Too late I am, bored and homesick
Ten meters far, sits Chinese chick

She looks so sweet in white and beige
She seems to be twenty five in age
She reads some stuff, then writes some things
“Give me Red Bull, it gives me wings!!!”

Well now my friends, I have to leave
not much to say, so I believe
I post this post, and out I log
so hope you’ll like to check my Blog 🙂

H.Q.
20:05
Wednesday
March 19, 2008

Heil Caesar!!!

Hail Caesar!!!

Flei Hei, Üver the Beige
Ouer King’s Slaughterous Rage
Alle Heil der Caesar slautern
Heil Heil!! DIE NICLOAS CAGE!!!!

H.Q.
Sunday
Jan. 6, 2008

29/10/2007

Hatred always succeeds at being so precise and well-defined…

…Too bad love fails at such precision.

08/10/2007

just FUCK YOUR SPECIES… you all force me to lie… it’s never okay to say what I have on my mind, I always have to think what your reactions could be, while none of you have ever cared to take a look inside of me…

You fuck simplicity with your doubts, and render all the caring you receive into instinct-driven complicated conclusions, which are, by the way, all wrong…
And then you feel hurt for not being trusted!!

Your Kind is cursed, and hopefully, your end is soon to come, I only wish I would live to witness the day…

H.Q.

Chapter V: Act II

StoneThing

Yes, I have a heart of stone, and it’s solid, deaf and blind; that it’s so hard to carve your name in it… but once you do…

…You’re forever there to stay.

Chapter V: Act I

– The UnderLost – Misanthropy says:

what if… you’re just too tired to set things right again… you just don’t care anymore… or only tired of over-caring… it DOES mean too much to you but… it really isn’t worth the time you’ll spend to bring it back on track… paying for a mistake that you havent made.. always forgetting, ignoring and forgiving the other’s mistakes, while they dont even care to know what they hav done wrong

– The UnderLost – Misanthropy says:

they forced themselves into your life, and now they’re forcing themselves out…

– The UnderLost – Misanthropy says:

THAT, leaves an uncorrectable error in you life…

– The UnderLost – Misanthropy says:

i’m like… halted…

– The UnderLost – Misanthropy says:

all plans gone blank… future is hollow… living each day not knowing what you have to do… not being able to think of tomorrow…

– The UnderLost – Misanthropy says:

i’m going to blog this…

– The UnderLost – Misanthropy says:

06:37

Monday    

27/08/2007

– The UnderLost – Misanthropy says:

H.Q.

Chapter IV: Act I: Sweet Pumpkin Lullaby

A Tribute to LOCOENG from CDFreaks.com and his cute little boy, a BIG THANK YOU for the inspiration 🙂 :bow: :bow: :bow:

They carve in Pumpkins
they look so Bright
But they will eat your Mom tonight!!!

So be alarmed
and be awake
as they now come for Mom to take!!!

They look so cool
In red and green
They make her think she’ll be their queen

But once it’s dark
And once it’s cold
They sell her soul for Satan’s gold

They lift her high
Far from the ground
Make sacrifice on the nearest cloud

They take her heart
Capture her soul
And leave her corpse, to the earth she falls

***

While orange crows
Consume her flesh
Our carver- beasts now make their dish

They slice her heart
To smaller bits
Add onion, orange, salt and nits

They mix them well
Then add some wine
And now they wait for The Undivine

“Feed well my kin”
Old Hornie says
“I need you for my future frays”

And while they feed
He nearly smiles
Thinks for himself, and then he cries!

“As when I’m done
I’ll kill you all”
“NOW GIVE ME THAT YOUNG VIRGIN’S SOUL!!!”

***

Oh poor Belial
you do not know
your end is near, it’s sure but slow…

These goofy beasts
what they have done
Will put an end to The Evil One

This virgin’s soul
is clear and pure
as same as a sixty years old whore!!!

She has this only
Son of which
we commonly call a “Son of a Bitch”!!!

He’s six years old
and he’s with me
He tries to sleep but why can’t he?!

Is that cause of
something I’ve said?
Who cares!? You both are already dead!!!

H.Q.
06:17
July 2, 2007

devil, Halloween, pumpkin, satan

Chapter III: Act IV: Random Questions…

 Q: Why am I so miserable?

A: Today I was virtually hugged by a virtual stranger..
B: Strangers cannot be virtual; they ARE strangers!
A: Yeah… right…
B: So, you we’re “virtually” mugged?!
A: Do you mind?
B: Well, yeah!! …. Usually…
A: !!!???
B: What!!?
A: JUST MIND THE &*%@#&^%@ OFF!!!!
 

Q: Why do all Melissa’s come with the “Sweet” prefix?

  1. Cause they ARE sweet!
  2. That’s a song’s name… or was it a virus?!
  3. What did you expect? A “Sour” Melissa?!
  4. That usually is caused by a parasynthetic phenomenon of which ….. *** a shooting is heard in the background, the sound of a rigid body hitting the floor… silence…***

Q: Why do I ALWAYS have to get disconnected a billion times an hour?!

  1. You’re using a 33.6 –sometimes 38.6, dial-up provided by a sucking ISP…
  2. So you experience how the fellas from Tanzania, Zimbabwe and Papua New Guinea go through their day…
  3. You like it don’t ya 😀 ?!!
  4. Just stop pressing that “Disconnect” button for a while!!!
  5. Welcome to Syria!!!

 

H.Q.
19:55
July 1, 2007

Chapter III: Act III

how bad could it be, when you can only feel what you really are, what you really mean, through the sacrifice and pain of others whom you really love… still calm… hiding into deeper sleep…

H.Q.
29/04/2007, 09:48

Chapter III: Act II: Jealousy

Jealous… of one, of him, who does not deserve all the chances he has got… the unworthy… the laziest… of him who thinks he knows everything, but doesn’t… I don’t envy him, neither him I do hate… but he’s just my living proof of the un-just Godly created Earth…

H.Q.
27/04/2007

Chapter III: Act I: Dreams

Dreams, have stepped up into another level of complication, a higher one, far beyond our “everyday” realism, reaching a completely different range of higher resolution shapes, geometries, and enhanced logical reactions. The brain has just stopped building upon materials from the “Real” world, it started creating its own separate “reality”, no more using the same old characters, no more using the ready-made scenes from actual “Existing” places… the platform is all “New and Improved”… like testing the new enhanced Beta version of the “Matrix”, once you wake up, everything you see in your dreams gets instantly mixed within your permanent memory, and gets its own time tag, getting integrated seamlessly into your “Real World” experiences…

The Brain is simply leaving the “Influences Era” and preparing to make a radical jump to the “Creative Era”…
while no more building on existing pre-installed models, the Brain has made a huge difference, starting from the perfect re-collection of info, to create the most perfect creature you could NEVER dream of… to creating these visually complicated, colour-rich, hi-res geometry, fully rendered complete cities! All made up of pure originality, never using any portion of the existing modules.
People’s reactions are improved, being totally controlled from the “Outside” of the Brain. They’re as real as everything else in the wake, with one advantage; scents, flavours, feelings… all are experienced in a deeper way in dreams, and leaving a deeper effect after waking up than the “Real-life” experiences…

It seems like it’s only a matter of time before all tests are complete, so we finally get re-allocated up onto the newer versions of these “Real” servers… currently, all it needs to take you there is an eternal sleep…

Hopefully so soon…

H.Q.
30 March 2007
19:12

Chapter II: Act II: Hamshahri Holocaust Cartoons And Caricatures (God’s Reply)

Oh ye ugly creatures…
as i was wrong the moment i created you, so shall i take your souls with my own hands!!! or… well… you know… i won’t need to!!!

it’s only a matter of time, and you’re gonna kill each living creature on this sucking planet!!!

i could never imagine that i could create such a gang of hollow-coasts and hollow-heads….

just mind your own business, and leave religions alone… after all, i’m not the one who told the “prophets” to go all the way to call for a “pray”!!!! but they thought they were doing well… and right now… your prophets do no longer exist… as i don’t intend to make a heaven and Hell in the first place!!! YOU just deserve NEITHER…. YOU deserve to VANISH… and so will be…

and YOU… who think that “NO GOD CAN SIGN A BLOG”!!! YES I CAN… i am the one who created YOU!!! REMEMBER!!!! so how can’t i make my comment!!!!

you filthy believers…. and you filthy non-believers… just watch your step so you don’t fall… cause i am no longer watching over you….

Humans are a waste of time…

i’m creating Hamsters for the time being….

H.Q.@G.O.D.
16 August 2006, 02:23:59

Chapter I: Act III: 3Months, 10Days…

This is no piece of poetry, neither it’s a try to write something that rhymes… it’s just a mess of mere rawness that went across his heart… 3Months, 10Days… R.I.P.

And here i read your lines
as they were mine..
places exchanged…
and all is set for the journey…
the journey.. away from you…

no more blood shall run through my veins
for it has flew away
on the wings of wind, and fate

no more light shall enter my eyes… nor heart
for the only light i had, is lost in the dark…

shall i not feel the beauty of the world again… nor sense it at all
for the only beautiful creation of God…
can no more feel me…

are u there…. are you!!
or shall i not ask for a lifetime
cause even the words are no more worth spoken…
as if they are not being told to you…

“But now I don’t see you anywhere.
Cause the time stopped.
And I wish I could say that we were going in circles”

but we’re going nowhere…

“My own life is standing still.
…And though we’ve traveled far together,
the last distance must necessarily be traveled alone….”

how could you think of all these things…
have you been in me… deeper than i thought

“of course no…”
howls a God besides my foot…
and lifts me… up to hell
“You had your share of Heaven..
for which you shall payback…
oh thee ugly filthiness…”

i had a share of heaven…
more than that i deserve…
so shall no mercy fall upon me…
for i everly am..
so soft, so ugly… so useless…

and now you’re gone…
and now i’m back…
to my former state…
a heart of stone… ‘still too soft
an image of God… ‘still… uglier
and a bunch of words… so empty… so useless…

so fool…

H.Q.
23:25
11 Oct. 2005