I am the grey…
I am the human canister in which the opposites unite, deep within my vacuum core words have lost their meanings, and definitions are yet to be defined.

Life is a statistical peak in chaos, and death is the norm, good and bad are relative to the receiver, while right and wrong are relative to the one who gives, love and hate are one, black and white are none, night is the only time when you can see the unlight, and darkness is the only state in which you see beyond the illusion of the eyes.

I exist, even if you can’t see me now, just close your eyes and jump beyond the space, beyond the sane edge of the mortals, hold your breath and dive deep into me, down into the void of all colour, the silence of all light, down, into a darker shade of grey…

… and the grey is I

H.Q.
13:45
12^th Jan. 2010

Tears fall as hail from a pregnant cloud, washing down the blinding dust off your soul… You’ve seen it there, a rising sun on a different horizon, the same grey tone on an alternate sky… It’s never been there, it’s never been yours…

You choke on your tears, on your own smile, the sterile streams racing down your cheeks are the only thing real, everything else fades within the grey feelings of your other self, it blends into the grey mask facing the world you’ve never known, as if it was drawn into a dream that’s not yours…

You miss the days when you once cared; for life was lost the moment you stepped up to the sky… your soul is still waiting there; waiting on a deserted runway, waiting for the return of the Hawk…

But the Hawk’s wings were broken since the elusion of the Black Raven…

Hey, You, Black bird…

Bring me back my Sun… Bring me back my shade…
Broken, Blind and Lost…
Too soft, too ugly, too useless… the least deserving, the ultimate fool of fools…

Nothing has changed… You’re only tired of breathing…

Come back Black bird…

H.Q.
18:17
30th Sep. 2009

It’s quite shocking how simply and easily we lose the ones we love… In a moment they’re there… the second, they’re gone for no return…

When you feel you’re happy, and you have every one around you, don’t save your words for another day… as for some, this day will never be…

and you thought it could never happen to you… well, we only learn from our mistakes… but we’re never given the chance to make a use of what we’ve learnt…

R.I.P.
To All Once Loved…

I wish I had nine lives, I would’ve given you eight, and kept one for me…
But all I have is this sorrowful one… Would you take this one and set me free…

3 years 2 months and 13 days…

Colours have died and sight is withering since the parting of light; colourblind I wander through the grey, stuck between them two worlds, the white of joy, and the black of eternal rest… Only you can save what’s left of me, just choose your colour, and give in a proof… a proof of life… or a proof of death… and don’t you worry, as it would barely make a difference anyway… as all I need is a one-word answer…

Wakey wakey!!
Li’l bunny is gone to work, no banking today for ugly bunny.

Baaaad Bunny 🙁

Especially when they’re taken out of their place!!!

If you think that “Ignorance is bless”, then please drop by for a visit at my workplace! It is NOT easy to be one of the very few “literates” in your field, whatever that is, to be one of the few who have more than a spinal cord and a cerebellum, one of the few who actually know the meaning of the words they type… if typed correctly!!

so now, after googling “Cerebellum”, please, go read something… I’m really tired of repeating my question for a billion times in 7623487 different ways, only to get an answer, with more words and less meaning than what came before…

Please, once you find out what you want, try to give some meaning to your words… maybe then, you’ll learn how to save the 8 days gone wasted ONLY because you don’t really know Where you belong or what is your REAL job!

Enough said, back to work…

H.Q.

You’re scared… YOU ARE scared… disgusted… worried? Maybe not…

Dreams are flattened, hopes? Delayed… you’re not sad, neither do you seem to care, not even care… to continue thinking about how you’re going to finish this sentence…

Too many things that you regret, you can’t stop thinking, as if thinking is going to change anything…
Do they even care to remember?

Chaotic, as usual, but with uselessness… chaos has never prevented you from being well-organized, in a chaotic way, maybe, but still organized… there was a time when you could take full advantage of each single second you spend… but now… you’re even failing at enjoying the waste of the days…

Erasing…

Sealed, for a later use… hopefully…

H.Q.
13:24
Tuesday May 6, 2008

Yes, I have a heart of stone, and it’s solid, deaf and blind; that it’s so hard to carve your name in it… but once you do…

…You’re forever there to stay.

– The UnderLost – Misanthropy says:

what if… you’re just too tired to set things right again… you just don’t care anymore… or only tired of over-caring… it DOES mean too much to you but… it really isn’t worth the time you’ll spend to bring it back on track… paying for a mistake that you havent made.. always forgetting, ignoring and forgiving the other’s mistakes, while they dont even care to know what they hav done wrong

– The UnderLost – Misanthropy says:

they forced themselves into your life, and now they’re forcing themselves out…

– The UnderLost – Misanthropy says:

THAT, leaves an uncorrectable error in you life…

– The UnderLost – Misanthropy says:

i’m like… halted…

– The UnderLost – Misanthropy says:

all plans gone blank… future is hollow… living each day not knowing what you have to do… not being able to think of tomorrow…

– The UnderLost – Misanthropy says:

i’m going to blog this…

– The UnderLost – Misanthropy says:

06:37

Monday    

27/08/2007

– The UnderLost – Misanthropy says:

H.Q.

 Q: Why am I so miserable?

A: Today I was virtually hugged by a virtual stranger..
B: Strangers cannot be virtual; they ARE strangers!
A: Yeah… right…
B: So, you we’re “virtually” mugged?!
A: Do you mind?
B: Well, yeah!! …. Usually…
A: !!!???
B: What!!?
A: JUST MIND THE &*%@#&^%@ OFF!!!!
 

Q: Why do all Melissa’s come with the “Sweet” prefix?

1. Cause they ARE sweet!
2. That’s a song’s name… or was it a virus?!
3. What did you expect? A “Sour” Melissa?!
4. That usually is caused by a parasynthetic phenomenon of which ….. *** a shooting is heard in the background, the sound of a rigid body hitting the floor… silence…***

Q: Why do I ALWAYS have to get disconnected a billion times an hour?!

1. You’re using a 33.6 –sometimes 38.6, dial-up provided by a sucking ISP…
2. So you experience how the fellas from Tanzania, Zimbabwe and Papua New Guinea go through their day…
3. You like it don’t ya 😀 ?!!
4. Just stop pressing that “Disconnect” button for a while!!!
5. Welcome to Syria!!!

H.Q.
19:55
July 1, 2007

how bad could it be, when you can only feel what you really are, what you really mean, through the sacrifice and pain of others whom you really love… still calm… hiding into deeper sleep…

H.Q.
29/04/2007, 09:48

Jealous… of one, of him, who does not deserve all the chances he has got… the unworthy… the laziest… of him who thinks he knows everything, but doesn’t… I don’t envy him, neither him I do hate… but he’s just my living proof of the un-just Godly created Earth…

H.Q.
27/04/2007

Dreams, have stepped up into another level of complication, a higher one, far beyond our “everyday” realism, reaching a completely different range of higher resolution shapes, geometries, and enhanced logical reactions. The brain has just stopped building upon materials from the “Real” world, it started creating its own separate “reality”, no more using the same old characters, no more using the ready-made scenes from actual “Existing” places… the platform is all “New and Improved”… like testing the new enhanced Beta version of the “Matrix”, once you wake up, everything you see in your dreams gets instantly mixed within your permanent memory, and gets its own time tag, getting integrated seamlessly into your “Real World” experiences…

The Brain is simply leaving the “Influences Era” and preparing to make a radical jump to the “Creative Era”…
while no more building on existing pre-installed models, the Brain has made a huge difference, starting from the perfect re-collection of info, to create the most perfect creature you could NEVER dream of… to creating these visually complicated, colour-rich, hi-res geometry, fully rendered complete cities! All made up of pure originality, never using any portion of the existing modules.
People’s reactions are improved, being totally controlled from the “Outside” of the Brain. They’re as real as everything else in the wake, with one advantage; scents, flavours, feelings… all are experienced in a deeper way in dreams, and leaving a deeper effect after waking up than the “Real-life” experiences…

It seems like it’s only a matter of time before all tests are complete, so we finally get re-allocated up onto the newer versions of these “Real” servers… currently, all it needs to take you there is an eternal sleep…

Hopefully so soon…

H.Q.
30 March 2007
19:12

Oh ye ugly creatures…
as i was wrong the moment i created you, so shall i take your souls with my own hands!!! or… well… you know… i won’t need to!!!

it’s only a matter of time, and you’re gonna kill each living creature on this sucking planet!!!

i could never imagine that i could create such a gang of hollow-coasts and hollow-heads….

just mind your own business, and leave religions alone… after all, i’m not the one who told the “prophets” to go all the way to call for a “pray”!!!! but they thought they were doing well… and right now… your prophets do no longer exist… as i don’t intend to make a heaven and Hell in the first place!!! YOU just deserve NEITHER…. YOU deserve to VANISH… and so will be…

and YOU… who think that “NO GOD CAN SIGN A BLOG”!!! YES I CAN… i am the one who created YOU!!! REMEMBER!!!! so how can’t i make my comment!!!!

you filthy believers…. and you filthy non-believers… just watch your step so you don’t fall… cause i am no longer watching over you….

Humans are a waste of time…

i’m creating Hamsters for the time being….

H.Q.@G.O.D.
16 August 2006, 02:23:59

This is no piece of poetry, neither it’s a try to write something that rhymes… it’s just a mess of mere rawness that went across his heart… 3Months, 10Days… R.I.P.

And here i read your lines
as they were mine..
places exchanged…
and all is set for the journey…
the journey.. away from you…

no more blood shall run through my veins
for it has flew away
on the wings of wind, and fate

no more light shall enter my eyes… nor heart
for the only light i had, is lost in the dark…

shall i not feel the beauty of the world again… nor sense it at all
for the only beautiful creation of God…
can no more feel me…

are u there…. are you!!
or shall i not ask for a lifetime
cause even the words are no more worth spoken…
as if they are not being told to you…
…

“But now I don’t see you anywhere.
Cause the time stopped.
And I wish I could say that we were going in circles”

but we’re going nowhere…

“My own life is standing still.
…And though we’ve traveled far together,
the last distance must necessarily be traveled alone….”

how could you think of all these things…
have you been in me… deeper than i thought

“of course no…”
howls a God besides my foot…
and lifts me… up to hell
“You had your share of Heaven..
for which you shall payback…
oh thee ugly filthiness…”

i had a share of heaven…
more than that i deserve…
so shall no mercy fall upon me…
for i everly am..
so soft, so ugly… so useless…

and now you’re gone…
and now i’m back…
to my former state…
a heart of stone… ‘still too soft
an image of God… ‘still… uglier
and a bunch of words… so empty… so useless…

so fool…

H.Q.
23:25
11 Oct. 2005